Live Microphones and Alcohol Never, Ever Mix


"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible Says love your enemy."  - Frank Sinatra

Oh sure, Ol' Blue eyes and the Rat Pack would knock 'em back.  And they handled it much to their crowd's delight.  Of course, that was in Vegas, baby.  But for others in the spotlight -- Booze and Concerts never mix.  Example A. - Mr. Rob Thomas.  The Matchbox 20 singer said this at a recent concert down under:

"I'll drink till I think I'm Australian … and then keep drinking till I'm a black Australian."

Um... what?  Great... alcohol with a racism chaser.  Yeah, I'd say you're a little Unwell!  That, of course, brought the inevitable backlash.  Which then prompted the predictable apology (posted on Facebook, no less).  It said:

"I did not intend to make a joke about race. I have seen people comment that after coming here for so long I should know that there is a connection between the indigenous peoples of Australia and a stereotype involving drinking. Embarrassingly, I truly didn't."

Dumbass, party of one, your table is ready.  But he's not alone it his drunken quips of random stupidity.  Remember David Hasselhoff mumbling through a cheeseburger in that video shot by his daughter?  What about Mel Gibson's alcohol-fueled classic? Oy vey.

"I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland.  They should be more vivid.  Here is one I would suggest:  'Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was." - George Carlin

Oh how I miss G.C.  And, don't get me wrong, this is not a call to restore prohibition.  Hell no, and on National Margarita Day?  Absolutely not.  All I'm saying is, know your limits.  If you're a "celebrity" or just a John or Jane Q. Public, remember this little tid-bit - "Instant Asshole - Just Add Alcohol."  Be smart... for Fuck's sake Do NOT drink and drive.  And stay away from microphones, cell phones, karaoke machines and paparazzi.   You'll thank me later! - MO