"It's not the years, honey; it's the mileage." - Indiana Jones, Raiders of The Lost Ark
Here's a transcript of my reaction to Tuesday's news of Harrison Ford and Steven Spielberg signing on to do a fifth Indiana Jones movie:
(Logs on and reads tweets from various entertainment sites)
Me: Are you fucking kidding me?!
And.. scene. No, No, No. Not that anyone needs to see the abomination that was "Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," but did you see that piece of shit? Indy didn't just jump the shark, he put it in a fridge and blew it up with an A-bomb. My heart sank after paying good money to watch it at the theatre. That miserable piece of drivel took a beloved and iconic character I grew up with and put him through the lackluster machinery that now excretes projects in Hollywood. It took all that was GREAT about Doctor Henry Jones, Junior and turned him into a punch line.
"It's disgraceful, you're old enough to be her... her grandfather." - Indiana Jones, The Last Crusade
"Indiana Jones and the Search for the Fountain of Youth" or whatever the hell they're going to call the fifth installment is slated to be released on July 19, 2019. Harrison Ford will be 77 years old by then. What made Indiana Jones so great was this fearlessness and the beatings he could withstand and keep going. How much can Ford withstand now that he's in his 70s? I mean, he looked great in "The Force Awakens." But even THAT storied franchise had enough smarts to sunset Ford's aging Han Solo.
“Nothing shocks me. I’m a scientist.” - Indiana Jones, The Temple of Doom.
Nor should it have shocked me. Just this week, Hollywood tapped "Cannonball Run" for a reboot and released the first glimpse of the rehash of "Ben Hur." "Ghostbusters" is being recycled soon and "Big Trouble in Little China," along with nearly 100 other movies are in the cross hairs to get the reguritation from the studios. I've ground my gears for so long on this issue that my go-to hashtag (#RejectTheReboot) has become a weekly staple on Twitter (@Tfullysarcastic). *Sigh* We named the Dog Indiana. And even HE had enough good sense to leave that bone dead and buried. Hope the paycheck is worth it, boys. 'Cause the movie damn sure is not. - MO.