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If It's A Gender-Bending Twist, It Makes It New Right?

"You know you've been around when they start to remake your own movies when you're still alive." -  Sylvester Stallone

No, I'm not going back on my last blog about being pro-remake.  But THIS is different.  The Hollywood Reporter has word of not one, not two... but FOUR gender-bending projects. They are:

- Dirty Rotten Scoundrels -  Rebel Wilson takes one of the two leads originally held by Steven Martin and Michael Caine

- Splash - Channing Tatum to play a Merman instead of the Mermaid brought to life by Daryl Hannah opposite Tom Hanks

- The Rocketeer - An as-of-yet cast black female actress wll pick up the mantle (and jet-pack) first donned by Billy Campbell in 1991

- Ocean's Ocho - Cate Blanchett, Sandra Bullock, Anne Hathaway, Mindy Kailing, Helena Bonham Carter and Rihanna not get to play in a spin on the Ocean's franchise (itself a reboot) brought to the screen by Steven Soderbergh, George Clooney, Matt Damon and Brad Pitt.  

So, what DON'T you see?  Nothing akin to a film with the scope and popularity of Ghostbusters.  Had Caddyshack been on this list, I'd be just this side of Judge Smails going ballistic.  But, thankfully, I'm not.  Two quick things on that gender-bending ghost-hunting remake.  1. I my opinion, it was the attempt to tackle a beloved film and NOT its all female cast as the reason why it flopped and is projected to lose $50 million plus.  And, 2. Didn't I call it flopping at the box office?  Oh yeah, I did.  See... keep reading this blog, kids.  I may not be THAT crazy after all.

"Well I think always, when you remake films, I always think the first one is most original, authentic." - Bai Ling

I think Ocean's Ocho will be huge.  I really do, especially with that cast.  Now a Merman? I don't think Magic Mike can even pull that off.. so it'll flop and die on the dock.  The Rocketeer is meant to pick up years after the original left off.  And, with the right star attached (think Keke Palmer or Kiersey Clemons) it could be huge, too.  Dirty Rotten with Rebel?  Eh.  She's made her name being raunchy and Scoundrels was more suave and clever.  I'll reserve final judgement on this one until her costar is named (perhaps Kate Beckinsale or Kate Winslet... any British Kate will do).  

See, that was positive.  Wasn't it?  I told you, I'm done trying to battle the Hollywood machine on this whole remake, reboot, reimagine thing.  Just consider me another brick in the wall.  And I damn sure don't need anymore education when it comes to rehashing anymore movies.  - MO