Waving The White Flag and Drinking The Kool-Aid

"In the time of darkest defeat, victory may be nearest." - William McKinley

Or I could have chosen "If you can't be 'em, join 'em."  Congratulations Hollywood, you've done it.  Thanks to announcements this week that Rebel Wilson is remaking "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" and Channing Tatum will play a mer-man in a redux of "Splash," I'm done.  Henceforth I will no longer be that one fish swimming against the crush of remakes flooding out of La-La land.  I'm all in.  I'm all for it.  I'm flip-flopping faster than Bernie Sanders at the D.N.C. I will now be the BIGGEST advocate for all things remade, reimagined or rebooted.   AND.. to prove it, I've even come up with an Uh-mazing list of remakes and the stars perfect for them.  Feast on this:

Back to the Future - with Adam Devine as Marty and Jeffrey Tambor as Doc
Silence of the Lambs - with Helen Mirren as Lecter and Jesse Eisenberg as Starling 
Big -  with Gabriel Iglesias as Josh and Eva Longoria as Susan
The Outlaw Josey Wales - with Scott Eastwood as Josey
The Birdcage - with Sean Hayes & Adam Lambert
Working Girl - with Jennifer Lawrence
Caddyshack - with Ryan Reynolds as Carl, Ryan Gosling as Ty, Kevin Spacey as Smails, and Will Ferrell as Al
Sleepless in Seattle - with Chris Pine & Anna Kendrick
48 Hours - with Kevin Hart and Russell Crowe
Thelma & Louise - with Margo Robbie & Blake Lively
Patton - with Daniel Day Lewis

But wait... there's more ---

Kindergarten Cop - Dwayne Johnson
They Call Me Mr. Tibbs - Will Smith
Stir Crazy - with Bradley Cooper & Anthony Andersen
Dangerous Minds - Reese Witherspoon
Fatal Attraction -  with Michael Sheen & Anne Hathaway
When Harry Met Sally - with Jason Sudeikis and Rashida Jones

These are all fucking gold!  So... Hollywood... make all this movies!!  And, when you do (and you know many of my suggestions sound pretty damn good) I demand the chance to audition for a part in each one of them.  I would also throw in the caveat about writing the script, too but we all know remake scripts are shitty rehashes, so why bother.  I'm coasting on the breeze now and, as a dear Southern friend shared with me, shittin' in high cotton.  I look forward to blindly endorsing any and all new-to-you productions from this point forward.  Kool-Aid anyone?  - MO